Hear about the demands and ambitions you may have for your student life.
Video made by the Counselling and Study Support team at SDU
"... It is important to become aware of one's requirements and ambitions. and about what the "Done button" looks like when you have lived up to your demands and ambitions..."
A done button is your success criterion for having lived up to a requirement or an ambition.
Demands and ambitions are often endless
When have you:
- Read your syllabus well enough?
- written the section on method, so it's really academic?
- been a good enough friend, dearest worker, student... ?
- lived up to your parents' expectations?
- produced something that the company can use?
- and so forth... and so forth... and so forth...
You can always do better, can't you?!
The problem is, you don't always have infinite time or energy to live up to your inner and outer demands and ambitions.
So when have you done it well enough?
Sometimes you have to make a decision that now is good enough. That is, to define yourself a done button:
You're done with...
- looking at the syllabus because it's 4:00 p.m.
- writing the method section because you had decided in advance that it was today that the method section is finished
- being a good friend because you now put away your books and study thoughts, and instead prioritize your time for spending time with your friend
- living up to your parents' expectations, simply because you are good enough as you are
- producing something for the company because you have given them a written summary of the most important points from your assignment
But what if it's actually not good enough and I fail?
Yes, we know. It's so difficult, because there are no guarantees.
Therefore, it is sometimes a matter of having to take a lot of courage to organize your student life in a balanced and sustainable way. And also a question of having to disappoint either yourself or those around you.
The price of not daring to define or press the Done button can be high
In counselling sessions, we hear about:
- burnout
- doubt
- meaninglessness
- stress
- discouragement
- underpreparation or overpreparation
- loneliness
In other words, just dissatisfaction.
What do you want your student life to be like?
When you have finished this topic about: "The demands you make on yourself", take a look at the topic about: "The good student life". There you will be able to learn much more about exploring what the good student life is for you.
Remember... You're not alone
It is so important when the inner demands and ambitions create dissatisfaction that you share your worries, your vulnerability, your sense of shame with someone. Reach out.
When you have finished this topic about: "The demands you make of yourself", go to the topic with: "Your resources at and outside SDU". There are a wide range of suggestions for places you can reach out to.
Get out your computer or a piece of paper. Write down your answers so that you can reread your answers afterwards. You can optionally visualize your answers using a mind map:
Identify your requirements and ambitions
What inner demands and ambitions do you have in relation to:
- Studio?
- Leisure work?
- Society?
- Friends?
- Families?
- Maybe you have a particularly important category that is not mentioned here?
Analyze your requirements and ambitions
Now that you have a little idea of what demands you have on yourself, investigate:
- What requirements and ambitions are important and meaningful to you?
- How do you know that you have lived up to the requirement or ambition?
Share your thoughts
- What happens if you tell others about your inner demands and ambitions?
- Which requirements and ambitions remain important and meaningful to you?
- Are there demands and ambitions that you should try to cancel?If so, how do you do it?
What is the imposter phenomenon?
The imposter phenomenon is described as a feeling of inferiority in relation to what you are studying or working with. It is often very capable and intelligent people who can recognize this special inferiority in themselves.
The phenomenon often becomes visible in connection with performance, and can be a source of many bad thoughts about oneself and one's worth. Because of the many often negative thoughts, imposter tendencies can be a source of unhappiness.
The typical thoughts you may have are:
- In a little while, they discover that I'm not good enough for this study
- I was just lucky or very diligent because I passed my exam
- Even if it went well this time, it will go wrong next time
- I have to perform something extraordinary for it to be good enough
- It doesn't feel nice when someone praises me, because it doesn't fit what they say
- Even though I've done well, there's really just a lot I don't know and can't do
What can you do about it?
- First of all, it can be nice to get a name for the phenomenon, and know that you are by no means the only one who goes around feeling this way.
- Next, it's about you starting to reflect on your own thoughts when they come knocking. So write them down, write them down, write them down....
- And share your thoughts with someone. For example, your fellow students.
- You have gained insight into the inner demands and ambitions that you have for yourself and your student life
- You have talked to someone about your possible unhealthy demands and ambitions
- This talk may have led to you trying to change some things
- You have also become familiar with the imposter phenomenon, and may want to investigate more about it